A Bit of Unusual

I frequently feel like I am the weirdest moment in other people's day.

For instance, I recently went to the doctor because one of my pinky toes has been turning sideways and feels funny.  I figured I needed new orthotics for my shoes and was looking for a referral to a podiatrist but instead I was sent for X-rays and an MRI of the lower spine because my toes tingled when the doctor raised my leg, a "positive sciatic test".  Anyway, my HMO puts you through a whole rigmarole before the doctor will talk to you about your actual problem, checking on all your medications, weighing you with your shoes, coat, and purse still on you, etc.

This time, the nurse asked about my activity level.
Me: Well, according to my Fitbit I've been doing over 10,000 steps a day.
Nurse: [Lengthy silence while she stares motionless at the computer screen]
Me: Is there not a field for that? You could just say 20 minutes.

Then, later, when scheduling the MRI the clerk made me answer the gamut of questions to see if I'd want to sue them after the MRI.

Clerk: Have you ever had surgery on your heart, where they might have inserted something metal like a pacemaker?
Me: No.
Clerk: Have you ever had surgery on your head, where they might have inserted something metal like a metal plate?
Me: No.
Clerk: Have you ever had surgery to implant anything in your ears, where they might have inserted something like a cochlear implant?
Me: No.
Clerk: Have you ever had surgery on your eyes?
Me: No.
Clerk: Have you ever had surgery to repair a broken bone, where they might have inserted surgical pins or screws?
Me: No.
Clerk: Have you ever had any surgery at all?
Me: No. [Pause.] Is that in case they left something inside you during surgery?
Clerk: [Confused look at the questionnaire.]  I never thought about that before!