Quieting the Voices

Sometimes I wonder if the way I think is fundamentally different from others'.

The first time I realized this might be true was in college, when I was having dinner with my roommate Karen.

The cafeteria that night had a chicken enchilada casserole.  We remarked to each other that it was actually quite good, then we each concentrated on eating for a few minutes, after which I volunteered, "I wouldn't care if there were insects ground up in here as long as I couldn't taste or feel them."

To Karen, this statement came out of left field and she made me explain my train of thought.

First, I had thought of how the chicken enchilada casserole was the least adulterated form of meat the cafeteria had offered in a long time.  The chicken was therefore the purest protein we had recently eaten.

Then I thought that chicken was actually one of the most efficient meat-producing animals.

Then I thought of how insects are actually the most efficient meat-producing animals, in terms of how much of what they eat is converted to meat.

Then I thought of how despite that insect meat isn't cost effective because there isn't a big enough industry to have economies of scale.

Then I thought how McDonald's is accused of padding their meat with things like insects but that wouldn't be logical because insects are more expensive.

Then I thought I wouldn't mind if more traditional forms of meat were padded with more efficient protein sources like insects as long as the taste, safety, or gustatory experience was not compromised.

When I explained that to Karen, she said, "That whole time all I was thinking was 'Mmm, food'."

What I wonder about now is if my thought processes influence my need for near constant audio distractions.  Over the years I've realized that the only time I don't want noise is when I'm talking with someone or writing and need to be able to concentrate on my mental narrative.  Otherwise, I prefer to have music or TV in the background or my brain gets impatient and it will choose to create its own, often pointless narrative which takes the form of endless worrying or complex and sarcastic Facebook posts.  At work, data analysis and lab work practically demand music or my brain is going to zone out and I'll make mistakes.  It's almost as if I don't get "quiet" - my brain will provide the noise itself so I get more effective "quiet" with actual noise.

One of my main disappointments with alcohol (besides the heartburn it gives me) is that it does nothing to quiet my brain.  I would be very interested in a product that could shut my brain up sometimes.